Cancer

She never thought cancer would change her life. It didn’t in any of the ways she would have expected. She didn’t find that she loved her husband or her kids more; she didn’t realize that life was short and to take better care of her parents; she didn’t feel a sense of solidarity with others suffering from cancer or others who had been through the same radiation treatments as her. Rather, she discovered an interest in pornographic literature and bowling. The former because she befriended and old woman there who had written many famous pornographic novels and had no shame about dying and would feel herself up at night while talking dirty. The latter because the whole time she was in the cancer ward she just wanted to buy a machine gun and kill people and run away and die somewhere and she told herself that if she ever got out of this fucking mess and got another chance to live she would go bowling and sleep with a bowler because bowlers, she always thought, were happy and uncomplicated and didn’t own machine guns and would appreciate pornographic literature.